Gentleman from India named Stu: I can give you 100 Viagra for $179.00.  Guaranteed to work.

Me (Shouting into my empty house): Honey, they are guaranteed to work.

Me (to Stu): Which is better, Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra.  My wife likes Viagra, my girlfriend likes Cialis, my best friend’s wife likes Levitra.

Stu: Really? Why don’t you try our samples pack? 50 pills each for $250.00.

Me: That’s a lot of money.  I don’t really need the Levitra for at least six months.  My best friend’s wife fell out of bed and broke her coccyx and she won’t be available for at least six months.

Stu: We can give you 50 Viagra and 50 Cialis for $190.00, guaranteed to work.

Me: Are they returnable?  My girlfriend says she will break up with me unless I marry her before July 4.  That’s not going to happen.  My wife is a 7, my girlfriend is a 5.

Stu: I am sorry but they are not returnable.  What do you mean by 7 and 5?  Do you need 7 and 5 pills before sex?

Me (First thinking about it): Yes

Stu: Maybe you should get our economy pack, 500 pills Viagra and 500 pills of Cialis  for $1000.  It is a lot of money but think of how much you can save  You can put it on your credit card and pay it off slowly.

Me: Can you call me back at the beginning of next month?  I would like to order the economy pack  but I am currently short of money.  I had to send my life savings overseas but I am expecting a large amount of money from Nigeria at the end of the month.

Me to You: Thank me.  I kept him on the phone for ten minutes so he couldn’t call you.