Kat’s Book: The First Month Of Marriage

On Monday, December 2, 1968 Kat and I went to work for the first day as a married couple.  Kat went to her job as a caseworker at the NYC Department of Social Services (DSS) and I went to work at my job as a bank auditor at Manufacturer Hanover Trust Company (MHTCO).  Within a week after I got back from my six week trip in July I got a new job as a bank auditor at MHTCO. Those were the days a  college graduate would have no trouble getting a job quickly, even one in a field where he had no experience.

When Kat was living alone her parents would call her on the phone every morning at 7am.  Kat wouldn’t  pick up but the ringing of the telephone was intended to get her up if she was sleeping and as a reminder to take her anti-seizure medication.  The medication put her into a very sound sleep.  In all the years we were married I only remember her getting up in the middle of the night once or twice.  After a couple of days of these 7am calls  we called Kat’s parents  to tell them that those calls would no longer be necessary.  They may have had their doubts but the calls did stop

Sometime during our first week of marriage Kat and I bought Chanukah gifts for my parents, brother David and sister Sheila.  Chanukah came early in 1968 in relation to Christmas.  For the first time as a married couple we visited my parents and brought the gifts during that first week. After about five minutes everyone was comfortable with each other; my father in the first minute and my mother closer to the five minute mark.  Because they were my parents and my family Kat was prepared to love them.  What my parents and Kat had in common was they all loved me and they all had a very big heart.  Perhaps not at this first visit, but my parents did quickly fall in love with her.  It was as inevitable that they would as it was that I would.  They could see that Kat did not hold anything back and that she opened herself up to them.

Our second week of marriage my dad brought his workman over to our apartment and painted the entire apartment.  Neither Kat or I expected that.  We did not see my parents for about three weeks. We got the following note in the mail from my mother:


Kat and I got a big kick from that note.  That is probably the only time mom ever used the word bestowed  in a letter or even in a sentence.  We visited them on the weekend following Christmas and after that we would see them almost every weekend.  Kat loved to visit my family.  Her love of family embraced us all.  My mom was a terrific cook and Kat enjoyed her cooking.  She became very good friends with my sister, Sheila and she always had a wonderful rapport with my dad.  It did not take much for Kat and my parents to love each other.

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