Thoughts On Grief and Love

Grief comes in waves; most of the time you don’t know when it will come, how low it will, go or how long it will last. For me, it still comes every day. As I am writing, I remember more and more, almost all really happy memories. Yet, the memories frequently turn to sadness because they make me realize how much I have lost. I cannot yet do what the grief counselor suggests, which is to express gratitude for the memories and the wonderful life they represent. On a good day I will have only 2-3 small episodes of grief that don’t last very long. Remembering and thinking about writing is grief-laden. The actual writing is therapeutic and takes me to a good place. While I am doing it I escape into another world. It is almost like getting a runner’s high. Time is not the great healer. What you do with that time may lead to healing.

Love is possible when your partner needs what you are offering. Neither of you may realize that it is being offered or that it is needed. I believe it can work in the sub-conscious. You somehow sense the specialness and uniqueness of your partner. With that, anything is possible. Without it, It is hard for the relationship to succeed.

The only advice I would give is to take some time while your partner is still with you and think about him or her. Put yourself into a position of solitude, without distractions, and think about them, deeply, and what they mean to you, how they have enhanced your life, maybe even gave purpose to your life. Go deep into yourself. Then, let them know what you have found.

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