It stopped raining a couple of hours ago, it is 58 degrees, the sun is out, it is 4pm and, now, a beautiful day.  I decide to go for a walk. I put on my running shoes and a  light jacket and off I go.  I will walk down the steep hill my house is on to Lake Washington Boulevard, two blocks away, turn right and walk along the boulevard alongside the lake and go north towards the Seahawks training facilities.

I leave the house,   take about a dozen steps going downhill and I feel the presence of light hands on my shoulders.  I think I hear very faint footsteps.  It is Kat, she is behind me and just to my right with her hands gently on my shoulders.  I can’t see her but I know it is Kat.   I feel she is steering me a little.  My eyes well with tears.  The tears are steaming down my face and they won’t stop.  I hope I don’t run into a neighbor or anyone else.  I don’t want to be stopped and have to explain myself.  I feel Kat’s presence for about 7-8 minutes, maybe a ½ mile.   I don’t say anything to her; I am just grateful. I thought this moment would come.  I experienced it with my parents after they were both gone and I would go for a run.  Kat will be gone six months next week.

I continue walking as I no longer feel her hands on my shoulders, but I still feel her presence.  It is a good feeling.  I always say to people “Kat is always with me”.  Is this experience a manifestation of that?   Maybe.  Whatever it is, it feels real and good; something I hope to repeat.

I walk to about one mile and I turn around to head back home.  I think about Kat and I wonder what she is doing.  I imagine the following with a certain amount of joy, something I haven’t felt for a long time.

Kat visits her mom, Kathleen,  at Steinbach’s department store where mom works in the lingerie department.  Kat is going to buy some lingerie and stockings.  She will use her mom’s expertise and her store discount; why not?  They are enjoying each other’s company as a first daughter and mom with the same name should.  Next Kat goes to visit her father, Dan, at the senior apartments along the beach.  Kat has a cup of tea and some of Dad’s Oreo cookies.  Dan has a Budweiser and a ham sandwich.  Kat tells him about her experiences working at the Navy base in Colts Neck.  He loved to hear her talk about that.  He loved the Navy.  Time changes with each visit as can happen when you imagine stuff.

My mom is visiting us in Freehold and Kat drives her to the fabric store in Howell.   My mom will make dresses and scarves for Kat and my sister, Sheila.   They are both treated as equal daughters by my mom.  Next Kat is in the backyard of our first apartment in Brooklyn.  My father has come to visit and he brought a bag of delicious anise cookies from the Italian bakery near the subway stop.  They sit in the backyard and enjoy each other’s company. Finally,  Sheila is shopping for clothing in Manhattan along Fifth Avenue.  Kat is accompanying her and helping her pick out beautiful stuff that matches Sheila’s expensive tastes.  They are smiling and laughing,  maybe at my expense.  As they walk along Fifth Avenue, both about 35 years old, the young men they pass, and the not so young men, are staring at them.  Why wouldn’t you stare at two beautiful women, laughing, and obviously having a good time?

Pages: 1 2