The March Madness championship match would be played by Dennis Smith and Marlon James Levine, two very close friends. In the week before the championship the boys got together to figure out how they could turn a dull match into a fun experience. Dennis was easily the better player and Marlon knew he didn’t have a chance. They came up with a plan that made their match the most memorable in the history of the tournament and almost got Dennis kicked out of school.
The match proceeded as follows:
Marlon started with FELL. Dennis added ATIO. Marlon added ANGINA with the final A under the F. Dennis added an RT to the FA, making FART. Marlon built RACK using the existing R. Dennis added a V in front of ANGINA as he built WOVE that got him a triple score. Marlon did not challenge VANGINA. Some of the teenage boys in the audience snickered but no one said anything. Dennis slowly build his lead which Marlon was unable to overcome. It didn’t make any difference to either of the boys as they proceeded to lay down the following additional words: FLUIDS, HONEY, TART, BOX, TEAT, BUSH, BALL, RACK, BOOGERS, DIGITS, QUEERS, JISM, QUIM, JERK. The board looked like the sexual vocabulary of a 15 year old boy. Dennis won by 68 points. When the game was over Father Regan took a photograph of both boys shaking hands with the board between them. Even though the board was very prominent in the picture Father Regan never really looked at it. He was happy that the Church once again won the March Madness tournament and that his favorite student was responsible for the victory. Father Regan would remain happy until three days after the parish newspaper was sent out and the telephone calls and letters started to come in.
The photograph Father Regan took was featured prominently on the front page of the four page parish newsletter. The main headline was: Holy Cross Victorious in the March Madness Scrabble Tournament. The sub-headline was: Dennis Smith once again leads HC to victory. The article, written by Father Regan, congratulated both boys for a well played match. It ended with “We look forward to seeing them in next years matches”. When Monsignor Bellucci, the head of the parish, got the first few calls and looked at the picture, he wanted to transfer Father Regan to a parish in Alaska, expel Dennis from Holy Cross school, and end the tournament. After sharing a bottle of wine with the Monsignor, Father Regan got him to agree not to expel Dennis and to continue the tournament in future years. Father Regan had to agree to give Dennis the scare of his life.
Father Regan told Dennis that he had to write a letter of apology that would be read at the awards dinner and published in the next parish newsletter. The dinner was postponed for an additional week. Monsignor Bellucci would decide if Dennis expressed enough contrition in his letter. If the Monsignor decided that Dennis had failed in this task he would be expelled from Holy Cross school. Father Regan would assist Dennis by editing each draft of the letter until he was satisfied, before presenting it to the Monsignor. In fact, the Monsignor and Father Regan agreed that the Monsignor would not read the letter and Dennis would not be expelled. Additional punishment was as follows: Dennis would be suspended from playing in one spring baseball game. He was the starting shortstop. The game they chose was against Holy Cross’ weakest opponent. Dennis would not be allowed to attend any school dances for the rest of the term. Dennis was banned from participating in any future March Madness Scrabble tournaments. Finally, Dennis was to donate all of his prizes to the charity of his choice.