5, To remain true to his religious calling, Rabbi Roth would never have sexual encounters on the Sabbath except for the one time the very sexy Mona Rabinowitz seduced him after a Sabbath service. Mona was just a nickname and he didn’t even know her real first name. He quickly forgave himself and it only happened this one time.

To alleviate the guilt of his sexual partners,  the rabbi would say to them “We are only human.”  He also pointed out that the “adultery” commandment was number seven, and the “covet” commandment was number ten.  As the rabbi explained it, “the adultery commandment wasn’t even in the top five  and the covet commandment came very close to not even making the ten commandments.”

Alan Roth, the old Brooklyn Dodger’s statistician, was Rabbi Roth’s older first cousin. Alan was famous in the sports world and was quoted and referred to in many sports columns and stories. It was because of Alan that Rabbi Roth developed his love for statistics as a young man.   As a Brooklyn Dodger fan and, later,  a New York Mets fan,  the Rabbi kept detailed statistics on his favorite team(s).  He also was the bowling league treasurer for the religious organizations league that bowled at Kenmore Lanes on Church Avenue since the league began in 1961.  Part of his job was to produce the weekly statistics sheet that showed league standings and the bowlers averages.  He continued keeping these statistics in 1975 and for many years to come.    The rabbi decided to marry his love of statistics with his love of sex by producing detailed statistics, for his use only, on his sexual encounters.

The Rabbi’s statistics kept information on the following variables;

• Month and year the sexual encounter took place
• Day of week of encounter
• Time of day encounter commenced
• Length of encounter, to the closest 15 minutes
• Physical attractiveness rating of rabbi’s partner: scale 1-10
• Enjoyment rating: scale 1-10
• Hair Color
• Religion of partner

Using these variables the rabbi could arrive at a variety of interesting statistics. For example, much to his surprise, there was no relationship between his partners physical appearance and his enjoyment of the sex act. There was also no relationship between his partner’s religion and the enjoyment.  About 30% of his partners were not Jewish.  The enjoyment rating for acts  performed in January, February and March were consistently the highest and July and August were always the lowest rated months.  As time went on the length of the encounter increased.  The rabbi suspected the enjoyment rating also increased as the length of the encounter increased but he could not statistically  prove it.   The rabbi received most opportunities during the football season.  Although he didn’t keep track of it, he knew he turned down more offers during this same time period because he consistently averaged three encounters a month across all months.

Apart from hair color and overall physical attractiveness the rabbi never referred to individual physical characteristics because he felt this would be demeaning to his partners and could be used to identify his partners if the report should get into the wrong hands.  The rabbi never looked for a particular woman.  He was happy with whoever he got to approach him.  He was a believer in the first come-first served principle.  On rare occasions he recognized that he was  being approached by more than one woman during the same conversation.  This happened about twice a year up to 1975.  The rabbi always felt uncomfortable resolving this dilemma, but, eventually, it would get resolved and he would satisfy both partners, but at different times.  Once, in 1968,  after a particularly emotional sermon,  he had to deal with four woman in a post sermon conversation, with all kinds of innuendoes.  He resolved this by surprising his wife with a one week vacation to Disneyworld and Boca Raton commencing the next day.

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